Friday, July 8, 2011

The Wal-Martians Have Arrived


From WALMARTIANS



I have this secret fascination with Wal-Mart. I rarely go there, but once in a while my wife needs to pick up some bulk items at cheap prices. Things like 50lb bags of dog food, jumbo rolls of paper towels and paint supplies. Sometimes I tag along.

I tag along, because I find the people that populate these mega-stores to be fascinating. Lets face it, you don’t see these people anywhere else. They come out of their basement caves once a week to stock up on Twinkies and Mac’N’Chese before retreating to their dark cubby holes to watch reruns of Rosanne and Gilligan’s Island.

So as I was wandering the electronics section of our local Super-Store I came upon a new Motorola Xoom tablet. A Xoom is the Android version of the Apple iPad, and it was on display for all the customers to paw and play with.

Like the iPad, it has a camera that you can take pictures with, so I started flipping through some of the images on the tablet. I was immensely entertained at the parade of Walmartians that had played with the device since it had been placed on display. There were literally hundreds of portraits of the cave dwellers on this thing.

Then it dawned on me, an Android powered device should have Bluetooth file transfer capability, just like my Motorola Droid smart phone. By the time my wife found me 15 minutes later, I had downloaded about 50 of the best portraits to the my phone and then left the store.

So without, further delay, I give you the future generation of America. Remember, these are the people that will be taking care of us in our old age, defending our borders and running our factories and retail establishments. These are just the upper crust. To see the entire collection, click on the link at the end of the blog.

Be afraid.....be very afraid.


From WALMARTIANS
It appears that young teenage girls like to pose in outrageous group shots




From WALMARTIANS
Take Us To Your Leader!




From WALMARTIANS
The men seemed to be most concerned with showing off their hats




From WALMARTIANS
I assume this is some sort of 'gang' sign, but have no idea what it means.




From WALMARTIANS
Their parents must be so proud.




From WALMARTIANS
...and you are wearing sunglasses indoors because.....?




From WALMARTIANS
...we be gangsta bitches....Yo!




WALMARTIANS

Click the image for the entire series

6 comments:

  1. When I'm feeling blue www.peopleofwalmart.com never fails to pick me up. Never.

    And yes, spunky teen girls are apparently required, by law, to stick their tongues out for impromptu pics. My Cinderella does it all the time. Drives me nuts.

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  2. Bonjour Bruce,

    You merit to have a nation-wide audience. I only hope one of those modern Neanderthalians will not try to slap a law suit on you to make some handy extra-money.

    Great post, Bruce. You are a real blogger-warrior. Let me quote Leonidas, "Wanderer, if you ever happen to pass by, dont forget to giv e me a call". It must be a pleasure to meet you.

    Georg

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  3. Oh dear. I have a confession to make. I pull very, very silly faces on the Mac computers at the department store. Then take a photo and walk off.

    I am one of those people......

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  4. Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

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  5. TOO funny Bruce! Those are great!

    My boy recently professed his profound confusion. He didn't realize that there was a difference between Walmart (which I avoid like the plague) and Walgreens (which is all kinds of convenient for certain things). Since he thought they were one and the same, I can't even imagine what he thought as I refused time and time again to take him to Walmart where he sees the best price on the internet and yet I happily traipsed him into Walgreens to buy a tshirt.

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