Letter To A 'Chat' Buddy

From 30 Days

Dear Melinda

I have a funny feeling it is too late for any of this. But if this falls on deaf ears, then so be it.

I never really knew you. While we ‘instant messaged’ for about 8 years, we never really met. But we did exchange a lot of views.

Time and tide has taught me that many people use the internet as a mask to hide behind and conceal who they really are. So how much of you is fact and and how much of you is fiction, I will never really know.

You claimed to be 41, but stated you looked 24. You claimed to be a nurse and well paid. You were shallow. I mean really shallow. You hated people that weren’t ‘perfect’, you didn’t like poor people and hated the idea of having to pay taxes to support losers.

You bitched and bitched about the way the world was and how the only things that mattered to you were being with beautiful people and looking young forever. To you, all the poor minorities were just vermin to be exterminated.

You horded money and were always looking for a way to hide it from the government.

Yet despite all your opinions, you didn’t seem to know much about how the world ticked. You only seemed to seek attention and desire.

Despite me pointing this out to you over the years, in numerous messenger exchanges, you kept coming back. I think you valued the honest feedback I gave you, since not many others probably wanted to have a conversation with you (listen to you bitch that is).

The last I heard from you, you were going into the hospital with cancer. Something tells me you did not beat it. I haven’t heard from you in ages and doubt I ever will again. You may have met your end, in the same way as all those people you despised. Alone, undesirable, with all that money that did you no good.

Somewhere along the line, you got broken, and it was long before you got cancer. I don’t know if society corrupted you, or if it was just the way you were raised. I don’t think I gleaned much from our friendship(?), except that there are a lot of really pretty, shallow people in this world that are self centered bigots.

Sorry you never figured that out.

Your Chat Buddy,


Lotus07

Letter To A Lost Friend

From 30 Days

To Carla Keith,

Of all the folks that were lost in the river of my life, I would like to find out where you landed the most.

I have found most of the rest, scattered by time and tide all over the globe. But I don’t know what happened to you.

That is a shame, since you were the first 'woman' I ever knew. You taught me more standing at the school bus stop every morning than any other girl before you. You were mature, and I was fascinated.

I don’t know if I would call it first love, but it certainly was the beginning where I realized there was a lot more to women that I had realized.

The last time I saw you was 1975. I fellow classmate recently e-mailed me a picture of you. It was the first time I had seen you in 35 years. It really made me wonder where you ended up.

Hope all is well and you survived like the rest of us.

So if you ever google you name on the Internet, hopefully might find this. From way back in the day, in South Dakota, near Rapid City, on Ellsworth Air Force Base. It seems like such a long time.

Love,


Lotus07

Letter To My Ex-Boss

From 30 Days

Dear Susan,

You probably don’t remember me. I used to work for you. Back in the early 1990, when you were director of the Agency I worked in.

I never really got a chance to have a sit down talk with you before you were flushed out the door by the new incoming governor‘s administration and went to work as a corporate lobbyist.

So I hope this finds you well and things are going your way these days. Your tenure at the Agency was, shall we say, difficult.

You really weren’t a people person during your time at the agency, and some would say you were a bit of a micro-manager. Spending all your weekends in your office reading every bit of correspondence that was sent out by your employees was a bit much. Showing that you had to proof everything everyone did was a little over the top and didn’t really promote that ‘team spirit’ concept that directors are so fond of using.

You taught me a lot about how government and bureaucracy work, and I have to say that none of it was very good. The impression I was left with was that government is full of a lot of power-players that trade favors and delve into a lot of graft.

Your insistence that the Agency aid all consumers regardless of the nature of their complaint was a bit of an abuse of power in my opinion. But such is the nature of those that serve the electorate I suppose. Making the higher-ups look good is more important than serving the consumers.

Back then, you were a pretty ‘driven’ individual, and I don’t know if that served you well in the long run. For some of us that trait is genetic. I know that during my lifetime, it hasn't always driven us in the right direction. Hope ya found some happiness at the end of your road.

A Past Employee


Lotus07

Letter To My Wife

From 30 Days

Dear Sue,

I need to remind you of something.

You have taught me a lot over the years, least of which is how much of a jerk I can be at times and how you don’t let it affect you so much. You tolerate a lot....and in the process, have have taught me a lot of tolerance. But more than anything else, you reminded me about the value of child-like dreaming.

You want to do new things and get all excited about the possibility of doing them. Most folks lose that when they get older, you don’t.

Sometimes you nurture too much. The three dogs and six cats that we have in our house are a testament to that. You have a hard time saying no or turning someone away that needs a favor. But these are really things that I can fault you for. You can’t fault Mother Teresa for being too kind.

You are a pretty messy person, although you hate clutter. You are disorganized in the extreme, never knowing where anything is placed, but you make up for it by making the best diners out of virtually nothing in the kitchen.

You complain about how difficult the audio-video system is to operate in the house, but for some reason, when push comes to shove, you were always able to figure out how to pull up ‘As The World Turns’ when you wanted to watch it.

But mostly, I have come to realize that you are the only person that is willing to put up with me and for that I am pretty blessed. Truly blessed. So while I might be a moody, brooding, S.O.B. sometimes, don’t ever think for a moment that you are the gosh-darn best thing that will ever happen to me in my lifetime.

Your Husband,


Lotus07

Letter To My Step Children

From 30 Days

Hey Kids,

I know you are going to all be grown up by the time you read this, but I will still be older than you, so I can still call you kids.

I wanted to pass this little note on to you after I am gone to give you a little heads up about some stuff.

Since I never had children of my own, you are going to be the closest thing I have to family when I leave this earth, so I wanted to pass something on to you now that I am gone. Now, don’t get your hopes up. It isn’t a wade of cash, or a yacht or a fancy sports car. Its knowledge. Something that I have learned is really hard to come by in this day and age.

The one thing I have learned in this lifetime, is that no one under that age of 30 wants to hear their elders tell them how things are, or what to do, or how to live their lives. I was young once too, and I remember those days when I was 20 and thought I knew everything. It is genetic, trust me on this, you will outgrow it.

Eventually, you will come to the realization that you DON’T know everything, but by then, your elders will probably be gone, or won’t care to explain it to you anymore. Hence, I am jotting down this letter.

During my time on this rock I learned a lot of things. No one can know everything, but I learned my fair share. So much so, that there is no way that I can write it all down in a meaningful way for you to understand. Somethings have to be learned first hand. That is life.

But I did manage to document a majority of what I learned in two different ways. I blogged a lot and I am going to make efforts to make sure it is all preserved for you. You might find it interesting and you might find it boring, and dare I say stupid and funny, but it was all me. All the important stuff that I could remember. The funny, creepy, sad, frustrating and enlightening stuff. If you take the time to rummage through it, you might find a few things that will either strike a cord in you, or at least give you a heads up regarding what to expect in your future.

The other thing I left you was a bunch of photographs. Thousands of them to be exact. Because I have often sermized that if we forget the past, it disappears. And to lose who and what we are is the greatest loss of all. So hopefully, you will cast an eye over the images from time to time on your screen saver or your digital picture frame and pause once in a while.

Because, now that I am gone, this is all that is left of me, and I don’t think that it should be forgotten. I had some pretty good times, and learned some interesting shit. This is my legacy, hope you enjoy it.

Love,


Lotus07

P.S. if you scan the text and images closely, you might be able to tell where I buried all my money.

Letter To Self

From 30 Days

Hey Buddy,

How is it going? Despite what you might think, it is probably going better than you realize. I know that on a daily basis you and I struggle with our inability to make a difference in the world that surrounds us. I remember when Mom and Dad challenged us to be the ‘movers and shakers’ in the world. Encouraged us to make it a better place. Prodded us to become leaders and managers of the golden American future.

But don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t climbed that corporate ladder. Enron and GM would have still gone belly up even if you had gotten the corner office. We really can’t change the world. We can only nudge it a bit in one direction or another. And even if we do, we sometimes nudge it in the wrong direction.

It isn’t all about success or being in command. Remember, while the quarterback gets all the glory, he also takes the most hits. Our life wasn’t supposed to be a game that we had to struggle to win. It is a journey that we have to struggle to understand.

What was that old saying we read in college? There are those that follow the lead of others, and then there of those of us that blaze our own trail. We should be happy we turned out to be blazers and not followers.

The more we look back at our failures, the more we realize that they weren’t failures at all. They were just a different path. As it turns out, they all seemed to be the right path.

Keep on blazing those trails.

Lotus07

Letter To Self

From 30 Days

Dear Self,

I wanted to jot down a little note to remind you to lighten up once in a while. It isn’t your fault that the world you grew up in gave you unrealistic expectations.

You have to remember that those halcyon days of the 1950s, when Ike was president, Elvis was king and Wally and the Beaver got warm cookies after school are gone. I know they imprinted in your mind that the future would bountiful, non-gay, Anglo-Saxon controlled and orderly, but that was a lie. Get over it.

Things change, and often times we can’t do anything about it. The expectations that you had of competency in government, your co-workers, your neighbors and society in general were unrealistic. Things got muddled, compromised, liberalized and averaged.

Our parents taught us to have high expectations. Growing up taught us to expect competency. Reality has made us realize that we are luck to find plumber or electrician that can read and write.

Deal with it. The world isn’t what we were told to expect. You can’t do anything about it and it isn’t going to change. So it isn’t worth getting all upset and pissed off about on a daily basis.

Sincerly,

lotus07