Falling

I wish I could have taken a picture. It would have defined the wonderment of life. But I knew there wasn't enough light and the time exposure would have required a tripod and a lot of luck which I did not have. I just had to burn the image into my mind so I wouldn't forget it.

This was the last trip. I had made the journey three times before, but had been thwarted by circumstance short of my goal. The goal was to hike to the Tall Trees Grove. This is where the largest trees in the world grow. They are located deep within the Redwood Forest. In my past attempts, rivers had been too high, bridges had been washed out, or the trail had been closed. But I loved the Redwoods. I felt at home there among the sheltering giants. I wanted to take one more crack at it.

As I drove up Highway 1 in California, I decided to camp for the night at the Andrew Molera Walk-In camp ground. This was a camp ground on the coast near the Big Sur River. You had to leave your car at a parking area and hike to the camping ground about a half mile toward the shore. I found a place to park and packed in my tent and sleeping bag.

The Andrew Molera Campground was a large open area about a half mile from the shore. It was late in the afternoon as I set up my tent and made camp. As the sun slowly set, I decided to walk the trail to the shore and catch a glimpse of the ocean. It was a beautiful summers evening, and the smell of the sea and the coastal flora was like an intoxicating perfume.

As I walked the path through the coastal vegetation, I passed an old one room school house that had been marked as an historic site. It hadn’t been restored and seemed old as the land it sat upon. In the cool moist air of the coast, I couldn’t imagine a time that it had actually been used. My mind wandered to the 1930s and the children that may have lived in the area and walked here to learn their lessons next to the Pacific surf. It seemed so far removed from the school buses and concrete classrooms that I had known as a child.

Past the school house the path followed a meandering stream that was Big Sur river as it trickled toward the ocean, taking water from the coastal mountains down toward the sea.

The path then made its way through a tunnel of ferns and shrubs and eventually ended on a cliff overlooking the ocean. High on the cliff was a bench where I sat and watched the sun disappear below the horizon. It was a scene of absolute tranquility with the sound of the surf and the smell of the sea mixing with the greenery of the California coast.

As the sun disappeared and the sky darkened, I witnessed something that I had never seen before. As the veil of night descended and the stars slowly made their appearance, they were reflected in the ocean as I looked to the west. The thousand points of light above my head ran down to the horizon where they slowly faded into the coastal mist and then re-appeared at my feet in the placid ocean as it rolled toward the shore and broke over the rocks.

At that point, I could have not been further away from civilization. I could not have been more at peace or appreciated more beauty. These were the moments that I took the trips for. Each time I went, I found something unexpected, something magical.

It eventually dawned on me that I had to make it back to camp and that the way would be dark and unknown. I had the foresight to bring a flashlight and headed back down the vine covered trail to the camping area.

As I walked under and through the bushes I once again came upon the stream that flowed to the ocean. While I had been on the bench taking in nature’s light show, the tide had come in and backed up the stream to its headwaters.

The babbling brook had been transformed into a mirror smooth pond and as the trail skirted along its banks I stopped in awe.

The stars that burned so brightly overhead where reflected like a mirror in the water at my feet. I paused and turned off my flashlight. There, in the coastal darkness, with only the sound of the distant surf and the evening frogs, the stars surrounded me. There was no moon. There was no other light. For that moment, I stood on the edge of the infinte.

There are times when your mind plays tricks on you and you have to rely on logic to show you the way. As I gazed around me, my eyes told me that if I stepped off that bank, I would fall into infinity. There was no ground, there was no water, there were only stars in a vast sea of emptiness. But logic told me if I took that step, I would get wet. My mind wrestled with the thought, and logic won out. It usually does.

I turned the flash light back on, illuminated the path once more, and headed back to the campground. The campground was teaming with life when I returned. There were fires raging in dozens of fire pits, with groups standing around singing, laughing and drinking. It appeared as though some medieval carnival had sprung to life when the sun went down.

I made some dinner and went to bed with the strains of guitars and laughter outside my tent. My mind returned to the dark bank of the stream and continued to question whether or not I would have fallen into those stars.

I knew I could never go back and find out. It was a door that opened for just one moment in time. A door that showed me something not visible in the ‘real’ world. I hope I get another chance to open that door. Maybe next time I will step off the bank. I will always be curious.

(clicking the picture shows an aireal view of the Andrew Molera State Park, with the cliffs and Big Sur river visible. The web site for the park can be found here )

Mother Knows Best

The Power of Baking


I have a step-daughter. She has a son. I suppose that makes him my step-grandson, but all these step designations get confusing after a while.

Let’s just call him 'Munchkin'. He is all of 4 years old, and when he runs into walls, he just falls down, gets back up and keeps on running. He has boundless energy without a lot of sense. Childhood, don't you miss it?

One day when he was all of two years old, Munchkin was visiting us and playing with one of his toy trucks. It was a big truck and he was standing over it as he pushed it around the floor of our home. Without a keen sense of the difference between tile and carpet, Munchkin ran his truck into the tile barrier between the living room and the dining room. The truck abruptly stopped. Munchkin did not.

He went head over truck and did a very proper face-plant onto the hard tile floor. You could feel the thud all through the house. It was painful just to watch, much less feel through your feet.

After he got up and wondered exactly what happened, he inevitably started to cry. He cried really loud. No one could blame him. We all rushed over to him to make sure there was no major damage. Other than the red knot that was swelling up on his forehead, he seemed fine. At least his lungs sure lead us to that assumption.

Without loosing a beat, his mother (my step-daughter) quickly ordered me to, "Get a Brownie" from the kitchen. My wife (munchkins grandmother....see how confusing this gets?) had made a batch of brownies that afternoon and they were cooling in the kitchen.

Considering that her son was screaming and looked like he had just been beaned by a line drive, I thought her request for a Brownie was a bit on the odd side, if not a bit selfish. "Your son is crying and you want to eat a brownie?" I thought.

I complied since there wasn't a lot else I could do. I went to the kitchen, sliced off a piece of the moist, warm baked goodness and returned to my step-daughter.

She promptly handed it to Munchkin and within a split second, there was golden silence. Munchkin was devouring the brownie and the swelling lump on his head was already receding into distant memory.

I stood there in amused amazement. Never underestimate the power of a brownie. Never question the wisdom of a mother. It is something men have a real hard time understanding.

A warm brownie heals all wounds.

Pirates!

Gary and Fran - Part Duex


A short work of fiction in 4 parts.

Chapter - 1, Pelicans


Chapter - 2, Pirates


Chapter - 3, Sentinals


Chapter - 4, Cubes



It was still oppressively hot. Gary ordered his second Corona and turned to look out at the bay. The sun reflected off the sea and made him squint. The bartender brought the sweating bottle with the lime wedge stuffed into it.

“Cualquier cosa?” the bartender asked.

“No thanks” Gary replied. He shoved the lime into the bottle and took a long draw from the cold beer and wondered why it always tasted so much better down here.

Gary tried to understand how something that seemed so right in the beginning had led him to this place. After returning from the clinic, Fran had been quiet. Last night she hadn't felt like eating and spent much of the previous afternoon standing ankle deep in the surf looking out to sea. There wasn't a lot he could do to comfort her and he sensed that she knew that. That morning Fran left early to drive back across the border. He stayed behind to deal with his own lingering doubts.

He heard a child's laugh and turned to see a young family of four sit down at one of the tables overlooking the bay. They were probably in their early thirties with a two year old daughter and a five year old son.

"That could have been me in another life." he thought, as he watched the lime wedge floating inside the cold cervsa.

He wondered if he could ever go back to the way it was. He doubted it. He realized that it probably wouldn't be good if they did. "Relationships like this burn brightly and then go out just as quickly." he thought to himself. Their jobs, their families, their friends all hung in the balance, yet they were also the cause of the whole affair in the beginning.

As he reached for a chip to scoop up some salsa more patrons entered the little cantina and bellied up to the far end of the bar. They were two young college couples, dressed provocatively and well into their morning drinking binge.

"That was me a couple of years ago." he thought to himself. Gary smiled and mused over all the hard knocks the kids would learn in the next decade.

They ordered Tequila, lime and salt from the bartender.

"The good thing about Mexico is that you don't have to let your troubles bother you down here." he thought. "The worries of the real world seem so far away. Here, it is just cold beer, hot days and seafood."

Gary glanced out at the bay and saw one of the local shrimp boats heading back into port after a long night of trawling.

"Look Daddy!" the little boy screamed. "Pirates!", as he pointed at the boat chugging past the downtown waterfront.

Gary's mind played a subtle tug of war over his relationship with Fran. The better angels of his nature chided him to think of her family and their careers. But his lustful demons only had to conjure the feeling of her warm body and their passionate kisses taken in moments of reckless abandon. Whenever he tired to think of something else, the muses eventually returned and resumed their mental battle.

At the other end of the bar, the couples had started the spring break ritual of the 'body shot'. Firm breasts were pushed together into deep cleavage as eager young men licked lime from one breast and salt from another before pulling the shot glass from between them with their teeth and downing the tequila. Gary recalled that it was illegal to use your hands.

He downed the last of his Corona and pushed several dollars toward the bartender.

“Gracias mucho” was his reply

As Gary left the cantina, another young man dove into a treasure chest to retrieve the amber gold of his dreams.

Gary couldn't avoid his problems forever. He needed to head back, face reality, and retrieve his own lost treasure.

A Thousand Possibilities.....

....means fewer choices.


There is this concept that is coming called the ‘singularity’. Like a freight train barreling down on you in a tunnel, it is almost here. However, I don’t know if the visionaries of the future have really taken into account the marketing and the media regarding this whole issue.

There is this theme that I keep running up against in my journey through life. At first I didn't see all the connections, but they are becoming more and more obvious as time goes by. There is this connection between what we are told to want and what we actually end up getting. This connection can be manipulated. There are puppeteers out there....and we aren't always the ones pulling the strings.

The singularity will give us thousands of options. There are literally thousands of ways to do things already and to see how they all work is one thing, but to see how they all interconnect is another. We all have these options. The things that will expand our consciousness, yet most of us don't know it yet. We don't need to go out and buy anything to access this looming potential. The tools are already there, on our cell phone, in our televisions, behind the dashboards of our cars. But for most of us, we don't see how they all work together.

It dawned on me, that our lack of knowledge about how new technology is fundamentally changing how we perceive our world is creating a service economy because most of us simply don't have the time or the curiosity to figure things out. So we end up paying someone else to figure out life's complexities for us. When this happens, the Singularity is taken over by the few and not the masses.

I have a new television set. It is one of those fancy HDTV flat panel jobs. It has a super nice picture and all sorts of neat features. The thing has 7 (count them seven) inputs, so I can plug in my DVD, my Laser Disc player, my VCR, the Nintendo Game Cube and my iPod into it all at the same time! Talk about a techie dream. Only problem is, my wife isn’t that techie. I have come to realize that most folks aren’t that techie.

My wife simply wants to be able to plop down in front of the TV, push a button and magically have "American Idol" appears before her eyes. She doesn't want the thousand options. She doesn't want to navigate the system. For her, simple is better. For 90% of the population, simple is better. Just tell us what we want and then give us what we want.

This same concept can be expanded to almost every nook and cranny of society. Our cars, our phone, even our work space.

I chuckle at the advertisements for the New Cadillacs and Lincolns. Monster vehicles that have computer controlled climates, voice activated GPS systems and satellite radios. Yet, in the back of my mind, I have this feeling that the folks that plunk down 50K for one of these techno-vehicles don't really have a clue about how most of these things work. It usually comes down to three simple things. 1) Key turns it on, 2) This pedal makes it go, 3) This pedal makes it stop. Beyond that, I don't think that too many hands reach for the owners manual.

If you can't use a map and a compass, a GPS satellite navigations system isn't going to do you a lot of good. If you can't burn your own CD's on a computer, an MP3 compliant 12 speaker deck with Sirius Satellite radio may be a bit beyond your comprehension.

When the need to figure these devices out actually comes along, we end up paying for someone else to make them work for us, or at the very least train us how to work them. Common curiosity is not a real virtue these days. We are trained to believe that we "can't" figure things out and it is better to find someone else that can.

If the Singularity ever does come about, and we attain the potential to make quantium leaps in our ability to understand the universe, I think it will be in the hands (or minds) or a few. Those minds will tell us what we want and then spoon feed us like babies in high chairs.

It is past 1984….better start reading the manual folks.

Pelicans

Fiction 101


A short work of fiction in 4 parts.

Chapter - 1, Pelicans


Chapter - 2, Pirates


Chapter - 3, Sentinals


Chapter - 4, Cubes



Fran downed the frozen shot of tequila. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she didn't see how it was going to matter.

Mexico was always oppressively hot in August. That was why they had never come down during this time of year.

She watched from the balcony window as a flock of pelicans flew low in formation over the sandy beach. As she looked at the Sea of Cortez she could feel the tequila’s warming affects. She went flush for moment as the weight of her thoughts raced through her mind.

"It won't work, Gary", she said in a firm but quivering voice.

"Aren't you curious about what we created? How can you look at this just from the logical point of view?” he responded.

"Been there, done that. I have no desire to go through it again. This was supposed to be fun and exciting. Our problem wasn't something we had planned on."

"Is that all it is to you? A problem? Nothing more?"

"Grow up Gary!” she snapped.

“You’re looking at this through rose colored glasses. You really expect me to convince Rick it’s his? What are you going to do, swing by the park once a week to catch a glimpse while we save for another college fund? It may be easy from your point of view, but the choice is pretty clear from mine."

"I'm sorry.” he said. “I never had the opportunity in my first marriage. I was just hoping....."

He paused and stood behind her at the window. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed out the window with her. A pelican broke formation, tucked in its wings, and dove headfirst into the surf.

"Do you love me?” he asked.

Fran's head dropped and he heard her sigh.

"Yes…” she said in a whisper, "...but we can't. That's why we're here."

Frustration is Good

The Committee Will Come To Order


The older I become, the less of a fan I am about doing things by consensus. Having meetings, democracy, letting everyone have a voice is usually not the best way to go. It gives the illusion that everyone has a say in what happens but the end result is usually something that no one really wants.





These are pictures of the Arizona 9/11 memorial that was constructed near the state capital last year. Needless to say, it has caused and uproar due to it's content. Also needless to say, it was designed by a committee.





When we think of war memorials, we tend to look at Pearl Harbor, or the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, or the Iwo Jima Monument in Washington. Monuments to the spirit, determination and valor of those that sacrificed their lives so we could all be safe and secure from enemies either real or imagined.





However, as a society, we have been tempered by the media and the legal system and told that we have to have a broader view. We need to look at how anything we do effects everybody.





The end result is a monument that makes us question our acts and not glorify our deeds. Needless to say, those that lost loved ones in New York or Afghanistan are not very pleased. They don't want others second guessing their sons or daughters death.

When we form a committee, we all lose something. The painful truth is, putting all your eggs in one basket is sometimes a better idea. Sometimes it is better to speak with one voice. We need to remember that it is better to find a competent individual and trust that they will do what is best for us. When we compromise by committee, no one is going to be happy.

iPod Experiment

The World's Soundtrack


This is from a concept presented by Mrs. Cyndi Foley. She is one of the writers on my MySpace friends list. She recently got married and I still can't get used to the Mrs. part.

The Goal: Take your iPod (or reasonable facsimile), hit shuffle, listen to the first 10 songs and write down what they mean to you.

Here is a little preface to this experiment. I have a lot on my iPod. It is 40 a gigabyte model and I have about 39 gigs of stuff on it. Most of this music was downloaded from Usenet back in the days when I had enough time to do this sort of thing. With over 42 days of music downloaded on my iMac, I spend most of my time just cataloging and weeding out the stuff that sucks. The stuff that isn't substandard is what is on my iPod. There are only three genres of music on the 'pod'. Rock, Soundtracks and Classical. Sorry all you Hip-Hop and Country fans. You won't find my 'pod' very entertaining.

Today I walked to work and put my ipod on shuffle across all the genres. The results are as follows:

1. Crossroads, (Cream - Live)

Probably one of the first 'rock' albums (Disraili Gears) I recall ever wanting to have as a child back in the mid 1960s, this live version is even better. It is hard to believe that this is just 3 guys playing on this song. Bands don't tend to sound this good anymore, especially live.

2. Birthday (alternate track, mono) (Beatles)

This is one of the rarities I found on Usenet. There is a ton of unknown Beatle tracks out there that most folks have never heard. Most of their studio sessions were never published and these are now bootleg collectibles. In these sessions the lads from Liverpool just sit around joking and tossing back and forth song idea. It is fascinating musical history. This is an alternate take on "Birthday" recorded in mono. It sounds about the same as the one you have heard, with a few subtle variations. Again, amazing that this was done live in the studio with no overdubbing of after-song production.

3. The Poet Acts, from "The Hours" (Phillip Glass) [Soundtrack]

I never actually saw this movie, but I had a tendency to download anything by Phillip Glass after seeing the film "Koyanisqatsi" back in the 1980s. He is a pretty minimalist classical composer, but his film music is very haunting. It makes for a surreal walk to work through the quiet neighborhoods between my house and the office.

4. Prelude to Act III "Lohengrin" (Wagner)

This goes back to my days in college when I worked part-time at a classical radio station. Wagnerian Opera is pretty hard to sit through, since it is long, slow and in German, but the overtures are pretty powerful, especially, 'Tannhauser', 'The Flying Dutchman' and of course 'The Ride of the Valkyrie'. This one is no different.

5. Symphony #8 Allegro Vivace con Brio (Ludwig von Beethoven)

It is Beethoven, what else do I have to say? I have all 9 of his Symphonies. Anyone that can create music like this while in the midst of pain, depression and death, is someone that we need to be in awe of. Whenever I hear his work, I have to stop, listen and think about all the things that trouble me and make me worry....and then I realize how foolish and insignificant those things really are.

6. All the time in the world (Instrumental) "Her Majesty's Secret Service" (John Barry) [Soundtrack]

I have a soft spot for John Barry and his James Bond Soundtracks. He has done other memorable soundtracks as well (Out of Africa, Dances with Wolves). His use of strings and simple themes make a good soundtrack for what ever you might be doing at the time.

7. The Park from "The Twilight Zone" (Bernard Herrman) [Soundtrack]

This is another little soundtrack from a peice I have not seen. It is here because it was composed by Bernard Herrman. He is one of the great film composers. Along with, Franz Waxman, Jerry Goldsmith, John Barry and Thomas Newman, they are the classical composers of our day.

8. Meet Virginia (acoustic version) "Train"

I am not a huge fan of this band, but this song is well done. I got this track while reconfiguring a computer in my office that was used by a previous co-worker. I discovered that she had about 20 gigs worth of MP3s on the thing and I copied them and kept the ones I liked. This is one of them.

9. To the Edge of the Earth from "The Piano" (Michael Nyman) [Soundtrack]

I actually HAVE seen this film. A very good movie if you have not seen it. About a mute woman in the 1800s that is sold into marriage to a guy in the South Seas. She speaks only by playing her piano, which means where ever she goes; it goes (a rather bulky thing).

10. L'istesso Tempo - Vaughn Williams

Sort of like Beethoven, his works are so subtle, light and beautiful, that they captivate the listener. His "Lark Ascending" is one of the most beautiful works I have ever heard.

11. The Levitation - 3PO's Bedtime Story from Star Wars - Return of the Jedi (John Williams) [Soundtrack]

John Williams is basically the John Phillip Souza of our day. At first he was pretty cutting edge and is still very good, but his music tends to fall into a narrow genre of soundtracks these days. Still, there is no one better at envisioning far away exotic locations or love themes than he does.

12. Dr. Jimmy from "Quadraphina" (The Who)

I consider this the best 'Rock Opera' of all time. While not the best track from the album it is still good. Of the two things I recommend you do with your iPod, the first is listening to Beethoven's 9th Symphony (4th Movement) on a mountain top at sunset, and the second is listening to Quadraphina on a beach during a storm. Both are life changing and moving experiences.

(that was twelve tracks instead of 10, but that is how long it took me to walk to work this morning, so you get a bonus.)