Poindexter's Swan Song

Hey!   Howdy!

Thanks for taking the time to find me.  My name is Poindexter and I was a member of the Johnson Pack for 10 years.  Talk about a life!  Whew, it was wild and crazy and fun!  

Let me tell you a little about myself since you went to all the trouble to get here. 

I don't recall much of my first days.  I remember getting lost and being alone in Phoenix, Arizona one night in a strip mall parking lot.  I sort of assumed that was the end.  Life had been good up to that point, but I was still just a puppy, so I didn't really know much.  

On that  dark night with cars whizzing by I first caught a glimpse of the pack leaders.  They saw me huddled in a doorway, looked at me, and started having an intense conversation.  I didn't know what they were going to do, but they were huge.  Finally, the big one, who I will call HIM (apparently the pack leader), reached down, put out his hand and scooped me up.  I was so tired and weak that anyplace would have been better than that parking lot.  

HIM and HER carried me to a huge truck and drove away.  I was just hoping that they wouldn't hurt me.  I was clueless.  Looking back, it was the BEST day of my life. 

They brought me to the pack den where I was surprised to find out that they had other pack members as well.  THREE of them and one was HUGE.   I had never seen another dog that big.  They kept calling her 'Dane' and 'Chella'. 

The leaders let me sleep in their bed with them that night.  There were other small creatures there as well, not dogs, but small animals that purred.  I curled up and went to sleep.  It was the first quiet place I had known in days.  

I later found out that HER had stated that if I barked to much, they wouldn't accept me into the pack.  I am glad I kept my mouth shut that night.  

So started my life with the Johnson Pack.  Many others came and went.  Some stayed for a few days, others are still there.  It was always a busy a pack den and there was always something to do. 

I can't recall all the pack-mates I had; Bacchus, Max, Chella, Thunder, Lightning, Peanut, Moxy, Ava, Henry, Iris and those were just the dogs.  I didn't interact with the non-pack purring crowd much.  They were sort of aloof. 

It took a few days to learn the pack routine and pecking order.  We all got along pretty well most of the time. I quickly learned that Chella was my buddy, since nobody messed with her.  I also learned where to go and not to go and what not to do.  Teething on power cords was one of things not do.  120 volts going through a small dog is not fun!

The pack initially lived in a park where all of us would run and frolic each morning and we would wrestle on the living room floor each night. 

Then there were trips to other pack dens, huge forests, the beach (ow the smells) and long car rides. One of the perks of being the smallest dog was 'Lap Time'.  I always got the front seat, while the rest of the pack had to sit in back....SWEET!. 

After a few years, we moved far south to the mountains.  Different smells and different trees and plants.  There was always something new and different in the Johnson Pack.   And I gotta tell ya, the FOOD was excellent.  I don't how other dogs survive on what they get.  But HER made the best food twice a day.  Needless to say, I was never really a 'thin' dog. 

This lasted for almost 10 human years.  I was pushing 70 dog years at the end.  It was a wild ride.  One that I am so glad I got to go on and I hope you all get a similar chance.  My time with the Johnson Pack taught me a few things: 

• Don't loose hope, it is usually darkest before the dawn.
• Size really does not matter, its the size of your heart that matters. 
• Big dogs aren't as tough as they look 
• Big dogs get big bones, little dogs get the passenger seat and the bed
• If it is a good pack, they will NEVER leave you behind. 
• ....and don't chew on power cords. 

Hope you all have a wonderful life!  I know I did.  Good Luck!

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If You Want To See Karma In Action

The Long And Sordid History Of My First Wife

This PowerPoint presentation speaks for itself.  

For further reading and documentation, see the following links: 

Court Docket: Scheffer v State of Arizona

Arizona Department of Corrections Inmate Search

(her inmate number is 340845)

Norman Rockwell Lives!

I was asked to go to a grade school graduation this May.  One of those yearly rituals that parents

have to endure.  We don't have children but a neighbor's daughter was graduating and my wife gives

her piano lessons so we were invited.  I had no interest in going, but it was one of those situations

where I knew I would get the evil eye if I didn't go.

What my wife failed to realize was this was a high school in the middle of nowhere.  We live in

Southern Arizona along with U.S./Mexico border and the word rural would describe the landscape

very well.  We drove for over an half hour across a high plains desert before arriving at the home of

the McNeal Falcons as the sun was beginning to set.

What I got to witness over the next two hours really gave me pause to appreciate those things that

assume are there on a daily basis but we never take the time to look. Those things we reminisce

about when we get older.  The things they told us about in social studies.

For that magical 120 minutes I was whisked back to a time of deep innocence.  Where the world had

endless possibilities.  A place where those small children on parade in their caps and gowns were

afraid of the future and excited by it at the same time.  They have multiple horizons to chose from,

they just have to start walking toward them.  There is no thought about turning back, because they

are just at the beginning.

It was easy to see who the early movers and shakers were.  The next lawyers and bank presidents

were on display with their awards and certificates.  I could also make out the smart trouble-makers

and the slackers.  They were all on parade just like when I was 12 years old.  The trappings might

change but the core goes on unchanged from generation to generation.  

But here, even the trappings didn't seem so different from my memories.  The school was small,

with no auditorium.  The ceremony was held in the open air underneath a large shade canopy

surrounded by school buses to keep the wind down.  The band that played the Star Spangled Banner

for the Pledge of Allegiance consisted of a flute and two coronets.  They were terribly off-key, but I

have never heard it played so well in my life.  Here it had value and meaning.  It struck a different

chord than the times I have heard it at football games.  

The scene made me think of my years on this planet and find all the similar chords and memories.

There were many more than I had remembered.  This was a picture of life that was ongoing and

never ending.  It was also a fragile picture that could easily be lost with neglect or apathy.  It

renewed my spirit and faith in ourselves.  Maybe there is hope.

The Six Questions.

The Six Questions

On my birthday, 03/08/2017 at the Point Arenas lighthouse, where I read all of the answers. 

For my surprise 60th birthday party, my wife had all the guests fill out a questionnaire.  These were sealed and given to me to read three days later on my birthday while traveling through Northern California.  

Here are some of the more choice responses.....

How and when did you first meet Bruce and what were your impressions of him?

101 years ago in Mexico.

The day I was born.

About 10 years ago.  First Impression, Sue traded up!

I hired him, 1st impression, competent….that's why I hired him.

Met him at a happy hour, First impression was that he had a lot of opinions.

Greek God.

What do you think that Bruce should put on his Bucket List for the next 5 years?

Deep intuitive trips into southern Mexico.

Trip around the moon on Space-X.

I could see you hiking in the wilderness for a week or two.

Enter a Bill Murray Look-A-Like contest.

Ride the Trans Siberian Railway

Learn a new language

Must get at least 20 dogs at one time.

Do you think he should attend his ex-wife’s murder traill?  Why?

Yes, it will make for a great story.

No, if she gets off she might come after him next!

No, life is too short!

Absolutely, everyone deserves a good laugh.

No, just because.

Nah, let it go.

Depends on who the judge is.

Nah, Ex is Ex.

How has Bruce enriched your life?

Took Me To Burning Man.

He has interesting insights on life.

Brought Sue into my life.

He provided booze for his party.

What, if anything, pisses you off about Bruce or a behavior trait you think he should work on?

Man Hugs

Over-Achiever

He should be younger and better looking.

Wear tighter pants.

His table manners, atrocious!

What final words of wisdom/advice do you want to give him for his future?

Don’t pee uphill in your socks.

Give up your Liberal Ways!

Sue is always right.

Allow wisdom to come, meet and converse with those you can learn something from and those that want you to learn something about themselves.  Be sure to look interested.  Have a good time.

A Thousand Words - 01/09/2017

A Picture Is Worth

A Thousand Words

(....and here they are.)

DATE TAKEN / DATE WRITTEN

08-01-2015 / 01-09-2017

My Life Is No Longer Like This.

A blog post originally published in 2008.  Scenes from a life that I no longer live. 

This Is My Job...

December 2, 2008 at 8:03am

...but this is not my life.

It is a sad day when we finally put all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together and realize that the image they create is not a very pretty picture. Let me show you two of the pieces that have fallen into place over the past few years and see if you can tell me what the image is.

Puzzle Piece #1) While diagnosing a problem in our southern office about 5 years ago, I was helping a co-worker input some data into our database. This data concerned statistical information on the volunteers that work for us. When I got to the birth date field my co-worker said they didn't input that anymore. This came as a shock to me because it is a required field. We have to produce statistical information regarding our Volunteers to Federal Agencies for compliance and one of those statistics is an age breakdown. So I asked my co-worker why they no longer input this data. "Because it is no longer on the application." was her response. Our volunteer application had been revised and 'redesigned' by a 'management team' who could not see the relevance of asking someone for their birth date. Obviously the 'management team' didn't have any statistical background or they would have realized they were shooting themselves in the foot by removing this question from the application. The work-around?, add a new process to the statistical data input where we have to look up their birth date via their Federal background check information. (God forbid we should just go back to the old application questionnaire!)

Jump ahead 5 years.

Puzzle Piece #2) I am composing an e-mail at my desk when 'Boat Anchor' comes into my office inquiring if the e-mail problem has been resolved. "What e-mail problem?", I respond. He tells me to read my e-mail from the Program Manager. It appears that all of the confidential e-mails that are being sent to us by an outside vendor are being bounced back as un-deliverable. Which means we aren't getting the 50 to 100 e-mails per day that we need to complete our job process. Hmmm, not good.

It obviously appeared to be an e-mail server issue so I started firing off an e-mail to our 'Crackerjack' ITD support center to look at the server and possibly reboot the darn thing. Half way through composing the e-mail, I remember reading something that morning in my e-mail inbox that made me pause. Pulling up my old e-mail, there is a notice from one of the Program Managers in my division indicating that the structure of the Microsoft Public Outlook folders on the E-mail Exchange Server have been modified to make them look 'neater' and more organized. Putting two and two together, I quickly realized that the inbox for the e-mails that were getting bounced, were in the modified portion of the directory tree, and in effect, the e-mail inboxes had been moved and were no longer available.

Once again, Management had made a decision that affected everyone in our division without thinking through all the consequences. End result, we have lost about 300 confidential e-mails that will have to be resent, and placed our work flow process in the office back about 3 days.

Which brings me back to the title of this blog. This is all I do. I research what others have done to see how the decisions that they made in the past have screwed up our business process in the present, and then try and come up with ways to correct their mistakes. This is all I do, seriously.

The reasons for both of these mishaps is obvious, but I am the only one in my organization that has the history and the knowledge to see the linkage between the events and know what factors lead to which conclusions. I have long since given up the idea of really accomplishing anything here, I just put out the fires that others carelessly and accidentally start.  I am one of the mentors for the morons.

It Gets Harder Not To Tear Up....

…..the older you get.  Reasons?  Well, probably because you start to realize what was so damn precious to you to begin with.  Long Story Short:  Our cat Ludwig has passed away.  Fifteen years old, 25lb, Grey, Long Hair, Maine Coon.  

Ludwig and My Father, Dale A. Johnson in 2004.

The only thing you had to fear from this cat was his refusal to get off of your lap once stationed there.

Yeah, not a good day.

Birthday - 2016

The Birthday Letter:

March 8, 2016

I was born in this day 59 years ago, or so I have been told.  There is documentation to this effect, but surprisingly little of it.  A funny looking birth certificate, a social security card and some baby pictures are all that remain of those times.  I have done a little research on the era.  Sputnik was launched, we were between Korea and Vietnam, Elvis was just becoming big, Ford Edsels were being manufactured and there was only one phone company for the entire country. 

A lot has happened in the intervening years.  The economy has changed (it always does), people have come and gone, both physically and emotionally.  I like to think that I learned a lot, but the sad fact is, that the older I get, the more I realize how slow I am to learn a lot of things.  The law says that we become an adult when we turn 18.  Hmmm, not quite right.  Most souls that I have encountered didn’t become adults until well into their 30s.  I have to admit that I was one of them.  

This all translates to wasted time.  Time that we could have spent doing much more productive things.  My observations have led me to believe that a lot of the time we waste not learning important lessons is due to environmental and social factors.  The more time we spend cheering for our favorite sports teams or watching out favorite reality stars on television steals time away from walking with our dog in the woods or spending time learning a new language, or volunteering in the community.  The sad fact is, most of the things that we are told will make us happy actually don’t.  We have to figure out what makes each of us happy as individuals. 

The reality is, the sports franchise owner that encourages you to root for ‘your’ team, pockets millions of dollars, while the sports fan ends up with a penent a hat and $180 less money after the big game.  

So what are those things that I have finally learned after 59 years of making mistakes?  Well, I can’t recall all of them.  But here are a few general hints about what I have figured out so far: 

Stop Being Politically Correct: Yes, we need to stop doing this, because all it does is repress how people really feel, which in turn fosters stress and hatred. Donald Trump is significant now only because he is saying what is on everyone’s mind, but they can’t speak it out loud.  The NAACP and the KKK can hate each other all they want, but they have to learn to respect each others position and ‘dialog’ about it.  That is what democracy is all about.  Be ourselves and be accepting.  Don’t force people to behave a certain way.  “Black Lives Matter”, might sound great to the frustrated African American, but it sort of leads the rest of us to think that our lives don’t.  “Lives Matter” dip-shit, if you qualify it, it sort of defeats the message. 

Find something that makes you happy and do it: If you love what you do then you will never work a day in your life.  Otherwise you will hate what you do and you will hate your life.  If you don’t want to sit in an office all day answering phones and staring at a computer then GET OUT.  Don’t believe what they tell you about being unemployed and losing your house.  They are just trying to keep you in line by scaring you.  You own the world, go out and use it. 

Change is everything....embrace that sucker: Which leads us to this little tidbit.  It may seem like a no brainier, but the human resistance to it is undeniable.  My generation was beset by fear when we were growing up.  There was nuclear war, the communists, the great depression.  We had been through a lot by the time I was born and our parents craved stability and security.  So that is what we grew up wanting.  But there is a down side to it, we don’t grow and move on if we don’t take risks.  We become stagnant.  Don’t fear change, it is almost always positive in the long run.  The worst thing you can do is wait for things to get better.  That never happens and you just grow old in place. 

Make yourself happy, no one else will: It is possible to categorize people in a million different ways.  We all do it as we grow and interact with others.  One category that needs to be highly emphasized are those people that seek happiness and fulfillment through others.  Those needy folks.  But beware, they often times mask their true nature to get into your good graces and then they latch onto you like a ramora.  Avoiding these people is a must in life.  They have negative energy and are basically unhappy with themselves.  Be happy in who you are and what you can do and you will find like minded souls along the way. 

Discover, there is so much more out there than you are lead to believe: In this age of connectivity and instant communications we tend to get the idea that we are all knowing and pretty darn smart.  This is especially true in large urban areas where media has more saturation.  However, there is a lot more out there than most of us realize.  There is culture, art, nature, just pure wonderment that you never knew existed if you just get off the beaten path. Society is becoming more and more of a cookie cutter / IKEA / Home Depot world where we stop thinking of better ways to do things and instead trust in large manufacturers to create what we need instead of making it for ourselves.  Discover the world and what you can do in it.   

You can do anything, given enough time and money: We tend to think of success as what we can accumulate.  Things such as cars, real estate, bonds, money, etc.  We want to accumulate these things ‘ready made’.  We don’t build our own car or house, someone else does that for us.  But what if you could be anything, or create anything?  What would you make?  Time is the issue, if you do one thing each day (write a letter, play an instrument, work out) for the next 10 years, what would you be able to do that you can’t do now?  Time is free, but there is a caveat.  It is running out, and it runs out faster as you get older.  Don’t buy into the media that you have to work hard to buy your dream retirement.  If you start laying a brick a day for the rest of your life, you can retire in a castle.  

Money, it isn’t what you think it is: I was raised that wealth meant happiness and success.  You never saw any sad millionaires.  Or at least that was the idea.  Not true.  Money is really something that becomes harmful when accumulated.  It will not buy you happiness, health or contentment.  Money is a tool to be used so that you can do things.  Don’t horde the stuff thinking that it will keep you alive when you are old and frail.  Death comes a knocking at everyone’s door sooner or later.  But death will really be laughing if he takes you and you still have $400,000 in the bank.

Like I have said, it took me almost 40 ‘adult’ years to figure all this stuff out.  I recall my parents and some of my early educators trying to tell me some of this, but I was to young and rambunctious to listen.  Now I look forward to the latter stages of my life armed with the knowledge that the future is unwritten and full of opportunity because I can envision it that way and not how others tell me it is going to be.  

50 Acres and an Airstream:

Getting older has its advantages.  One of them is ‘perspective’ (a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view).  You can’t get this when you are young, it is something that develops over time.  Paying attention to your surroundings and questioning a lot aids in its development.

After having lived in several different environments over my lifetime, my perspective is broader than some others I have known.  It’s focus has also shifted considerably.  As humans we tend to get regimented into a way of thinking based on our environment.  Commuting to work, day after day, dealing with the same problems day in and day out tends to narrow our perspective of the bigger issues that surround us. .  

I recall as a small child my parents used to take my brother and I on road trips across the Midwest to visit our relatives in Iowa.  These road trips were lengthy.  Back in the 1960s, there were no puddle jumper airlines or easy ways to get to heartland America.  We had to drive there, in a Ford Fairlane.  My brother and I slept in the back seat on bunks that my father had built for the car.  We would drive straight through, often for 20 hours, to visit the relatives that still lived on small farms or in small town America.  We bonded on these road trips, you had to, we had no other choice.  There was no WiFi, no video, only AM radio  when you were within range of a station.

We passed through sleepy little farming towns at 4am, with all the traffic lights flashing yellow and not a soul on the streets.  It was a dreamy sort of world.  While passing through back roads with endless miles of corn and wheat fields I would see the occasional mobile home or trailer parked about a quarter of a mile from the highway.  Being a curious young eight year old, I asked my father who lived out there.  He said he didn’t know.  I asked why would anyone live out there?

“They are running away from something, they want to be alone, they might not be ‘normal’ (mentally ill)”.  

He gave the impression that the outcasts of society lived out there in the boonies, far from the madding crowd.  When you are eight years old, your father knows everything, so I filed it away in my young brain and slowly  grew up over the next 30 years.  

I found out over the course of those 30 years that my father hadn’t always been right.  He was right for his time and based on his experience, but he could not predict what the future was going to hold.  None of us could have, things changed a lot and they changed very fast.   The jobs he told me seek out all evaporated in a changing global economy, the political views and the concept of social studies changed with immigration (both legal and illegal) and the changing cultural views of what government was supposed to be.  My father would not recognize the world now, nor would he approve.  His concept of what was right and wrong were forged in the 1930s.  Ancient history by today’s standards.  

But I followed his lead and eventually landed in civil service jobs that I held for over 22 years.  My father had been a career military officer and I had grown to appreciate the concept of an employer that wasn’t going to vanish overnight because of bad management or changing economic policies.    I thought I was chasing the American Dream and by all accounts it appeared that I was well on my way to attaining it.  There was debt to be sure, but there was a house, a car, even cable television and a computer….oww la la, the good life.  However, the more I attained was not increasing my quality of life or my outlook.  It quickly peaked and it took me a decade to realize that all the stuff I was told to desire was, in fact,  not making me happier.  Having all this stuff meant enduring a lot of stress.  Stress that started to take a toll on my health, both mentally and physically.   Stress that eventually affected relationships, both in the workplace and at home.  Like I said in the beginning, I started to ask a lot of questions and the answers were not pointing me in the direction that I was headed.

I would save all year to take a vacation for week and then dread going back to work, not because I disliked the job, but because I knew that management and my co-workers would have not covered for me and I would return to a week's worth of work that automatically put me a week behind as soon as I walked in the door. I quickly learned that only idiots took vacations.  The end result was not worth the effort.  

But when I was on those vacations I observed something.  The people were different.  They didn’t all have furrowed brows, they didn’t all clench their fists or grind their teeth.  They smiled and looked relaxed.  Clearly, I was doing something wrong.  Then I returned to work and furrowed my brow and clenched my fist at the sight of my desk.  

On subsequent vacations I found myself trying to get farther and farther away from the life that was so instilled in me by my parents and the marketers of the day.   I didn’t find myself going to resorts and sipping cocktails on the beach like so many others.  I found myself deep in forests where no one could find me, traversing endless tracts of desert freeway, like a shuttle craft between worlds.  Eventually landing numerous times at Burning Man, which is the farthest you can get from planet Earth without a space ship.

After 20 years of chasing that American Dream, it finally sank in that it was a pyramid scheme.  You ‘could’ rise to the top and be successful and happy, but we ‘all’ can’t do that.  There isn’t enough room or opportunity at the top for everyone.  When it finally sinks in, the inevitable conclusion is that you really don’t want to be at the top after all.  Life shouldn’t be about having hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place.  It isn’t about passing ‘Go’ and collecting $200.  

So my wife and I left to seek other dreams.  Dreams that were our own creation and not the ones marketed to us on television by fast talking pitchmen and infotainment bobble heads.  While wandering far and wide to find a different place to start over we covered a lot of obscure ground.  Looking around long enough we found other kindred souls on the same journey.  They are out there and they have carved little niches in the forgotten places of the world.  Places where it just isn’t profitable for the marketing machines of the 1% to sell in.  Places that are hidden, and want to remain that way.  Places where individuality grows and people don’t follow leaders, they follow their hearts.

While walking through one small town and staring into the shop windows I came across some real estate listings for the area.  One of them was for a parcel of land.  It stated '50 acres, with an Airstream Trailer and a private well (free water!)' in the middle of the high desert of southern Arizona.  I think they wanted $60,000 for it.    That is only $1,200 an acre.  I looked at it and grinned.  Unlike my father, who assumed that only hermits and crazy people would live there, I now knew the answer.  The dreamers lived there.  The people that went to bed each night contented and woke up the next morning to a glorious sunrise and a new world of possibilities.  

We settled in that small town and have never looked back.  We have no cause to.  We bought five acres out in the middle of nowhere, where our dreams are being born.  

Ghosts of Christmas Past

So I am wandering the aisles of my favorite store, ACE Hardware, the small town Home Depot.  I call this idea shopping, looking at what they have and then trying to figure out if I could do anything with it.  It is like a big toy box.  

Then I run across a Christmas display for a $49.99 Drone.  You got that right.  A remote controlled helicopter, complete with a camera.  Pretty cheap I thought, and then I thought what the f@ck is this doing in a hardware store?  Apparently drones are for sale everywhere now, including the local candy store and head shop.  Apparently, it is becoming a tradition to fly a helicopter around your house during the holidays.  At this point, a piece of flotsam lodged in my brain.  Something was familiar.

Fast forward a week or two, and I am browsing through the aisles of Lowe’s Home Improvement in Sierra Vista, Arizona.  Same thing as ACE only much bigger.  Bigger store, bigger ideas.  When what should my wondrous eyes behold, but another Christmas display.

No drones here.  Instead they had the latest new fangled gadget for the home.  A 3-D Printer, only $899!  Again, what the f@ck is Lowe’s doing selling computer peripherals?  Then I sort of did the math.  Why saw cut those blocks of wood to make bookends.  Have the computer and the printer sculpt them out of plastic for you.  And…..we take one step closer to living the Jetson’s lifestyle.

There was that feeling again.  Something from the past. Then it all came back to me.  These were the same toys that I played with so many Christmas ago as a child.   We had the same helicopter back in 1965 on that snowy holiday in Iowa.  The helicopter was attached to a long counter-weighted pole and revolved around a central tower, but the same thing.  Showing the rest of the family my flying skills in the comfort of my grandparents living room.  

Forward a year later to that cold winter in Minot, North Dakota when I got the hottest Christmas gift that year (literally hot).  The Vac-U-Form toy maker.  Essentially a hot plate that heated a sheet of plastic, that you then laid over a mold and sucked all the air out of it.  Once again, making plastic toys in the comfort of your own home  

So in those intervening 50 years, nothing has really changed.  They have gotten a bit fancier, but in the end, it is all about the toy factor.  Don’t even get me started on Spirograph.