Run For Your Lives....
There is a lot of talk these days about the immigration debate. These folks are stealing jobs and robbing us of our entitlements and are a threat to national security, blah, blah, blah.....
But no one seems to be concerned about the real threat. I am talking about the invasion that is underway that threatens our very way of life. We are so distracted by the economy and the media and the illegals from across the border that we are not noticing the evil menace that has landed on our planet from a distant galaxy. They walk among us right now! Wake up people, can't you see them? The extra-terrestrials from the planet Oblivious! The OBLIVIONS!
They look just like you and me. They might be occupying the cubicle right next to you, or maybe they just moved into the house down the block, or they are sitting next to you on the subway. You must have seen them. They are slowly turning us all into mindless zombies just like in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".
For those of you that have not been paying attention, here are a few pointers to help you spot these inter-galactic interlopers.
The Oblivions have no concept of the affect they have on others. Those folks going 40mph in the high-speed HOV lane....OBLIVIONS! That person paying for one item in the express checkout lane....with a personal check...OBLIVIONS! Those two people having an in-depth conversation at the base of the down escalator.....OBLIVIONS!...BOTH OF THEM!....they are in collusion! The brainiacs that schedule a meeting at 4:30pm on the Friday before a long holiday weekend.....OBLIVIONS in Management....they must be stopped!!!
No 'normal' person would do these things. Any self conscious human would say to themselves....I would be a JERK if I did something like that. But Noooo, not the Oblivions...they live to disrupt and destroy. That is their evil plan. They will make us so frustrated from being around them, that we will all leave. Then they will have the whole town, city, nation, planet to themselves.
They are the intergalactic relatives that invite themselves to dinner and then NEVER LEAVE! We must unite before our towns become Oblivi-ville and we all become the Oblivi-nation.
Stand Up And Fight! Fight I say! Beat back the legion of incompetence that is slowly burying our civilization. Disseminate competence...expect and demand higher standards. Fire CEOs that don't have the foresight to foster long term sustainable growth. Lynch those that only strive for short term gain to benefit the shareholders. Practice yelling, "Hey, Jackass!, Go back to the planet Oblivious where you BELONG!".
If we don't we are all doomed.
(Damn, my new office-mate just came into my cube asking me how to fix the pencil sharpener.....OBLIVIONS!!!.....OUT, OUT I SAY!!!!)
I hear you. But, sigh, I think we are so drastically outnumbered by the numskulls that it's gonna be a tough battle.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great picture to accompany your warning comment. I see these types all the time... some of them talking to each other on the cell phone while driving and drinking their coffee. I must be more careful. Thanks for this timely information.
ReplyDeleteI saw quite a collection of them at the shopping centre. They were walking very, very slowly in a big bunch, stopped suddenly to point something out and then I walked into them.
ReplyDeleteI often see them working in department stores disguised as shop assistants. They talk to each other the moment I come up to the counter to buy something.
But, that is because I am one of The Invisibles. You know, the over forty female who happens to also be a mother. So, being an Invisible amongst the Oblivions makes life tough.
Egad! Sounds like the Oblivions have taken over Congress and CEO positions all over the country! Middle management is just infested! Someone call the Scientologists quick!!
ReplyDeleteWhat Pyzahn said. Really, WE are not "normal." THEY are the norm.
ReplyDeleteBut this is a hilarious (albeit sadly true) post anyway!
Ahahahaha! Yes, I fear I see them everywhere.
ReplyDeleteEVERYWHERE I say!