We Are Not Normal

Sue & Chella

Finding your soul mate in this life never really turns out the way you think it will. Most women probably envision their soul mate as some guy like Brad Pitt. Most men probably think of Pamela Anderson (if you have low standards), or Julie Roberts (if you have higher standards), or Angelina Jolie (if you are just strange). But in the end, the person you were meant to be with for the rest of your life is usually someone that you never expected.

Case In Point #1) About a week ago, my wife was working in her office and was having a really hard time seeing. She isn't one of those people that likes to go to the doctor and will usually suffer through intolerable pain before finally submitting to the Emergency Room. So the fact that her far vision had deteriorated down to nothing wasn't something that she was going to deal with until she waited at least a couple of weeks. The fact that she was getting constant headaches and really couldn't drive weren't enough of a reason to head to the optometrist.

She put up with this malady for about a week. The possibilities were ocular degeneration, or a tumor on her eyeball, or her glasses might need new prescriptions. Finally last Thursday, my mother was giving her a ride to work, because she just could see well enough to operate the car. While driving my wife to work, mother looked over at her and asked the obvious question.

"Where is the left lens for your glasses?"

My wife raised her finger, and sure enough, the left lens for her eye glasses was missing. She had been wearing her glasses in this condition for almost a week. Hence the vision problem. She was only seeing clearly through one eye.

Case In Point #2) My teeth are reaching the end of their serviceable lifespan. But thanks to modern dentistry, I can pretty much get a new one cemented to my old roots as soon as the old ones start to shatter. Such was the case last month, when I had the second in a series of crowns put on one of my molars. Not a big deal. The dentist drilled down the tooth and put on a temporary crown and I would come back on 3 weeks for the permanent one. Two day later the temporary popped off and I went back to have it re-cemented. Then, two days later it popped off again. "Screw it", I thought. I will just wedge it in there until I am ready for the permanent one. The tooth didn't hurt so I just popped it out when I ate something, brushed me teeth and wedged the temporary back in when I was done. Worked just find, until 4 days ago.

I had popped out the temporary crown and placed it on the arm of the sofa while I wolfed down some steak and potato's that my wife is so good at making. I got up to put the dishes in the sink and get our standard after dinner desert, a Klondike Bar. When I returned to the sofa, my tooth was gone and there sat our 8 month old Pit-bull / Boxer / Dalmatian puppy licking his lips.

"Son of a Bitch", (I meant it literally).

The damn dog ate my tooth. I have been crown-less ever since. When my wife stopped laughing she advised that I could probably dig it out of his droppings the next day. I told ole "One Lens" that there was no way that crown was going back in my mouth.

Case In Point #3) We have two dogs. Bacchus, the Chow-Chow / Lundhound mix who is the perfect dog, and Maximus the 'son of a bitch'. Both are medium size 50lb dogs. Both were abandoned in our neighborhood as puppies and we took them in as our adopted children.

Then about 3 months ago the wife and I started batting around the idea of getting a big dog. Both of us had always wanted on, but we had never had the resources (a big back yard) or the free time to own one. Since our new house boarders a large park and since we have no children to care for we figured it was either now or never. So when a fully grown Great Dane was put up for adoptions in our neighborhood newsletter we just had to go take a look at her.

Well, one thing led to another and the result is that the dog in the above picture now lives with us. Her name is Chella, a full grown, pure bred, Great Dane, 120lbs and 3 foot tall at the head. She could swallow an eyeglass lens and temporary crown and not even realize it.

Most of our friends and relatives think we are crazy. They are mostly right. The soul mate that you eventually find in life usually has to be as crazy as you are. That is what makes it work.