Good Housekeeping

Urban Bliss Without The Prozac

I was reading Blog Voyeur Turned Blog Whore's recollections about her relationship with 'Travis'. A MUST read for any man and most women as well. It is hilarious, and it got me thinking about the roles of woman and what they expect from today's society. I then read a posting by another friend of mine on FaceBook and it sort of created the perfect storm.

Attached are two excepts from publications in the late 1950s and early 1960s regarding the role of women in society and what they could expect as young girls growing up. To say that they would be considered politically incorrect would be an understatement these days.

Housekeeping Monthly, May 13, 1955

The Good Wife's guide:

1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4) Clear away the clutter. make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc, and then run a dust cloth over the tables. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

5) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

6) Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

7) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, that his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

8) Make the evening his. Never complain if the comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

9) Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

10) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

11) Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

12) A good wife always knows her place.

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Excerpt from Sex Education Textbook, Great Britain, circa 1960:

When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.

Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's When he reaches his moment of fulfilment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of teas ready when he awakes.

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After reading these I can imagine that most 'modern' woman would find this sort of institutionalized subjugation appalling. That is certainly the idea that has been planted in my head from growing up in the 70s and 80s. These articles basically state that a woman's roll is nothing but subservience with no hope of individual growth or advancement.

However, I have learned that women also have a dark little secret. A secret often times only whispered in the Lady's Room or at Baby Showers. Almost all of them crave the life outlined in these guides. A simple life of home and hearth, with no worry about money, or bills, or commuting or co-workers. A life of attention and adoration, of simple gifts and security.

To bad that as a society we took a wrong turn somewhere back in the late 1960s, and we lost our way. Of the women I know that do practice this lifestyle, they appear to be surprisingly happy. As for the divorced women with custody of 2 children that has to work outside the home for a living and dreams of cabana boys and a owning her own condo.....they appear absolutely miserable.