Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Good Housekeeping



Urban Bliss Without The Prozac

I was reading Blog Voyeur Turned Blog Whore's recollections about her relationship with 'Travis'. A MUST read for any man and most women as well. It is hilarious, and it got me thinking about the roles of woman and what they expect from today's society. I then read a posting by another friend of mine on FaceBook and it sort of created the perfect storm.

Attached are two excepts from publications in the late 1950s and early 1960s regarding the role of women in society and what they could expect as young girls growing up. To say that they would be considered politically incorrect would be an understatement these days.

Housekeeping Monthly, May 13, 1955

The Good Wife's guide:

1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4) Clear away the clutter. make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc, and then run a dust cloth over the tables. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

5) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

6) Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

7) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, that his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

8) Make the evening his. Never complain if the comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

9) Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

10) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

11) Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

12) A good wife always knows her place.

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Excerpt from Sex Education Textbook, Great Britain, circa 1960:

When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.

Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's When he reaches his moment of fulfilment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of teas ready when he awakes.

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After reading these I can imagine that most 'modern' woman would find this sort of institutionalized subjugation appalling. That is certainly the idea that has been planted in my head from growing up in the 70s and 80s. These articles basically state that a woman's roll is nothing but subservience with no hope of individual growth or advancement.

However, I have learned that women also have a dark little secret. A secret often times only whispered in the Lady's Room or at Baby Showers. Almost all of them crave the life outlined in these guides. A simple life of home and hearth, with no worry about money, or bills, or commuting or co-workers. A life of attention and adoration, of simple gifts and security.

To bad that as a society we took a wrong turn somewhere back in the late 1960s, and we lost our way. Of the women I know that do practice this lifestyle, they appear to be surprisingly happy. As for the divorced women with custody of 2 children that has to work outside the home for a living and dreams of cabana boys and a owning her own condo.....they appear absolutely miserable.

9 comments:

  1. Wow. That stuff is horrible.

    I think what people are missing is that it is possible to be married and be happy without being a subservient maid with a plastic smile. I am Definitely not one who can be the kind of woman these texts demand- I have a real thirst for knowledge and I'm rather adventurous. But I remember my mom telling me (in gentler terms) that it was my duty to basically act stupid so my husband's ego could inflate. NOT gonna happen! I can't be with a stupid man, either- I can't be with someone I can't respect.

    Thankfully, my husband had a strong, hard- headed, educated, employed, wonderful mother whom he was very close to until her death. She demanded respect, yet clearly loved her husband and children. I think she should be the real role model for women. Because of her, my husband respects me and, most importantly, loves me for who I am.

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  2. I'm ALWAYS happy to see my man. I ALWAYS cook him a nice meal.

    But I'm ALWAYS quick to complain if he comes home late.

    We ALWAYS argue about the washing up.

    He ALWAYS bangs on the bathroom door and yells at me to hurry up.

    We NEVER prepare for sex. It just happens.

    Whoever wrote that book needs to jump out of the window before 21 Century Women batter the living daylights out of them. xx

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  3. I think the first bit, about preparing yourself, the house, the and the meal for the husband's arrival is very important to a marriage.

    The key, I believe, is in the motivation. If you love your husband you naturally want to give yourself to him and make him happy. Which feeds into the love energy of the marriage. And this blossoms positivity, which in the end results in a very happy life. And awesomeness will abound.

    There is something very nice about putting one's considerable energy into making the spouse happy. But again, the motivation is key. Are you doing it because you love him, or are you doing it because you want to play the part.

    AS for the sex bit. Gimme a break. Jeez. babeland.com people, babeland.com . . .

    But, yes, I believe that somewhere along the line, the women's movement twisted the very idea of a wife taking care of a husband into something evil and opressive.

    But screw that.

    Marriage is an awesome place of love and giving.

    After all, that is why you get married in the first place, to take care of each other for the rest of your lives.

    ok good.

    suprising that I wrote a post about another form of marriage today.

    huh
    ok
    :)

    Mrs. Hall

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, that was a scary step back in time.

    About 20 years ago, I went to a Women in Advertising presentation given by Southwest Bell (now AT&T). Their slide show gave suggestions for how professional women dress. Cutting to the chase, they said the only suitable form of jewelry was a wedding ring.

    I ran right out and applied for a job with them. NOT.

    p.s. is Mrs Hall for real?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes, I am real :)

    http://misseshall.blogspot.com

    take care

    Mrs. Hall

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh how I laugh.

    And it is not so much that many women WANT THAT particular lifestyle, with all the servantesque attitude, but a mix between the 60's and the 80's. I feel no need to have everything perfect, and thankfully neither does my husband. But I do know our family is more stable and happier with me at home steering the ship. I have no qualms about not earning money. I have no ego issues about running our family. But I also will not serve or pretend to not be me.

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  7. Once you start to "list" the duties that could encompass being a husband or wife it does come across as a bit demeaning.

    Personally I think the 1960's "sex talk" is awful and would make having a shag pretty depressing. I wonder if they had the same sort of information on hand for the men?

    However, there is a lot to be said about putting aside your own ego now and then when you are in a marriage.

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  8. The 1955 suggestions are much better than the 1960 ones, in my opinion.

    Though my life isn't to the 1955 ones to a letter (life is just different now--women didn't work except homemaking--not so today), it is my goal to have a life similar to that. I gave up wearing a skirt and heels when my husband arrived at 6 p.m. not long after leaving the work force (THAT was insane), but I like to have dinner on the table and a house a haven. My children have been trained (by me) to watch for their daddy and "run and clap" to greet him as he drives down the street to our house.

    Now you better believe I'd have a LOT to say if he stayed out all night, but I think doing what I can to keep home a haven is part of why I know that will never happen.

    And I'm NOT subservient. I married Prince Charming! Most of my girlfriends have a queue for him in the event of my untimely death, and many of HIS friends think he is hen-pecked because he does so much for me.

    A wrong turn HAS been taken. We know very few couples as happy as we are. From what I can see the happy ones have two things in common: 1) Men who are not jerks and 2) Women who are smart, industrious and don't need to be coddled. If those two ingredients are present, it is not that difficult to have a modern version of the Cleaver household. (In my opinion.)

    ReplyDelete
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