Friday, November 14, 2014

Kim, The Method Behind The Madness

"If you want to figure out what is going on....follow the money", J.J. Gittes - Chinatown

There is no such thing as bad publicity.  You need to bare this in mind during the Internet / Social Media age. Every like, hashtag and share reference to a subject on the Internet is tracked and tabulated in ways that the NSA can hardly comprehend.

The whole media circus that has played out this past week with the Celebutante Kim Kardashian baring her buttocks in an attempt to 'break the Internet' by overloading servers has a different purpose.  Aside from the fact that it garners Mrs Kardashian more publicity and keeps her in the public eye there are other subtle reasons that are not reported by the likes of 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'Fox News'.

Kim's primary goal here is to make money for herself and her extended family.  The Kardashians are a brand, much like Chanel or Ferrari, except instead of a product, they primarily sell an image which products are then tied into.

This income comes from three primary sources.  The royalties earned from the reality television show, the products that are tied into their name (perfume, video games, clothing) and the money earned from personal appearances to promote events (night club openings, rich peoples birthday parties, etc.).  These appearance fees can run into the the high six figures for Mrs. Kardashian, so they are very lucrative.  One night partying and showing off her ample posterior can pay for her new Bentley and the gas to run it for a decade.

The Kardashian clan did not just fall into this formula for making millions.  Few people do.  Despite what you might hear in the media, it isn't due to their savvy mother, the Momager - Kris Kardashian.  No, sadly, the reality is that there are agents, promoters and accountants behind the scenes that pull the strings and set the course for this dynasty well into the future.

These unseen faces actually pilot the waters of the celebrity ocean and are responsible for Kim's shining rear-end on your computer screens last week.  Allow me to give you a glimpse into the a conversation that (most likely) took place between Kim and her 'handlers' about a month ago.

Kim: "I'll be free the 2nd week in November, shooting most of December 1st through the 14th and then Kanye and I will be laying low during the holidays and award season before our next season premieres in March...."

Handlers: "We need to discuss something Kim.  Before we can guarantee the same income stream on par with last year we are going to have to show the buyers your continuing relevancy in the coming year.  Your wedding and the 'frapening' are over and we need to keep riding the crest of the wave for maximum profitability"

Kim: "What do you have in mind this time?  Not another leaked sex tape I hope, that is starting to get old."

Handlers: "No, No <chuckles>, we have whipped that horse until its dead.  We just need to get a metrics count of your social media score to justify our asking prices in the coming quarters.  We are proposing some type of stunt so that we can get some statistical internet analysis to tabulate the amount of relevancy you still garner."

Kim: "Are we talking about another 'like' / 'hashtag' count?  

Handlers: "Precisely, If we can show that the number are still as high as the last count, we can lock in your rates for the coming two quarters.  But before we do, we need to make a splash to up the count.

Kim: "What kind of stunt this time?"

Handlers: "Well, your ass has always been a good bellwether, and we have an opening on the cover or 'Print' magazine......."