Maybe, Someday...
I had a dream last night. It was a strange sort of dream. Not like the surreal sort of dreams I usually have where I am in the third person, watching myself solve a puzzle or a problem for no apparent reason.
This dream had me parked in front of a television set watching the nightly news. The news Anchor (I think it was Tom Brokaw) was fidgeting and kept looking off camera like he was expecting something, only it never came. He squinted into the teleprompter and then shuffled some more papers in front of him...then he cleared his throat.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is a day like no other in broadcast history. For it is on this day, that I have to report to you the following:
there are no cheating sports figures
there are no dead celebrities
there are no kidnapped children
there are no new mystery illnesses
there are no plane crashes
there are no war dead
there are no natural disasters
there are no spikes in prices
there are no new government statistics on the economy
there are no reports from North Korea or Iran
there are no bank / corporate failures
there are no train wrecks
there are no pirates!
there are no bailouts.....
in essence my friends, there is no news to report to you on this day. So stay tuned for 20 minutes of advertisements from our sponsors for medications to combat illnesses that you have never heard of and automobiles that you can no longer afford to own. Good Night."
I changed the channel to look for new episodes of 'Cops' or 'Hoarders', but couldn't find any. So I went outside to play fetch with our dog.
It was a really cool dream.
if you're dreaming about watching the news, you need to aim a little higher with your aspirations....
ReplyDeletei know, i know, i get it.. im just being a dick.
You list of "there are no...." A lovely thought.
ReplyDeleteBut we all know if there was no bad/depressing news there would be no need for the news/news reporters.
I always liked Tom Brokaw's deep voice.