Shut The Fu@k Up!
A short comment here. I have been having some problems with people recently. Not a particular person, but a mass of people that are starting to really un-nerve me. There is the possibility that I have been subconsciously avoiding them in the last decade or maybe I have just been really lucky in not running into them. Then again, maybe it is the holiday season, the economy or global warming that is bringing them out of the woodwork. But there are sure a lot more of them recently.
These are the hyper-talkers. Folks that don't talk 'too' you, but talk 'at' you. They are not engaging in conversation, but instead are venting a lot of pent up emotion, anxiety or anger.
In the past month or so, I have had to deal with several of these people who have verbally assaulted me. I usually know within 10 seconds what their problem is, but can not get a word in edge wise for about 2 minutes while they drone on about their frustration.
SHUT UP! People. If you can't control yourself, and act in a calm, responsible, ADULT manner, you only make the problem WORSE!!!
Here are a few pointers:
1) -Ask a direct, short question, keep it to less than two sentences.
2) -Close your mouth and WAIT for a response.
3) -Ask a follow up question (if necessary) AFTER you have heard and processed the response.
4) -If you still don't get it, request a later meeting to go over the issues in-depth. Don't assume people have time for you when YOU want it. We are all busy!
It is called 'dialogue' and has to do with each member of the conversation contributing to the exchange in equal parts. No one wants to hear you babble on about emotional twaddle and side issues that have nothing to do with the task at hand.
If you want to spew forth all sorts of garbage, you need to find someone that is called a "Psychiatrist". They will listen to you babble on incoherently for hours (for a fee) and then probably prescribe some medication for you that will 'shut you the HELL up'.
For some reason, folks seem to think that I am the free psychiatrist that does pro bono work for the masses. NEWS FLASH.......that isn't the case!
Surprisingly enough.....it isn't just the poeple in my office that have been doing this....it is a lot of folks in the general public....complete strangers that come up to me on the street!!! (My office co-workers go without saying, I have documented their exploits in the past.)
ReplyDeleteComplete strangers coming up to you on the street? Sounds as if you were a magnet of a kind.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe, just maybe, it's a sign of a sort. Maybe you are being forced into dealing with your inner tensions. The fact that you've been having these problems *recently* might indicate some change in you emotional balance so maybe you should be looking for the real reason of getting upset. People have always been stupid and annoying and they'll never stop so maybe it's a pseudo-problem covering up the real one.
Passion: You make a good point. Maybe "I" should take the pill, so I can learn to just nod my head and smile at folks that unload all their anxiety on me. The world would be a happer (albiet dumbed down) place.
ReplyDeleteDon't send them to me unless they are ready to work.
ReplyDeleteAnd they get an 45-60 minutes for a new visit or 15-25 if I don't want to hear all their story.
:)
ok good!
Suck it up Bruce and remember, you are in charge. That's how I control the mouths that cannot close.
;)
That is the worst: when someone TALKS at you! I so dislike that.
ReplyDeleteLast week a woman I never met started telling me all about her marital problems and informed me that she calls the police sometimes because her husband becomes "unreasonable". It was really weird. I'm a magnet for this sort of person because I look so approachable. Maybe I should glue Oscar the Grouch eyebrows onto my face to discourage this.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could point them toward signing up for a blog.
ReplyDelete:-) :-) :-)
Malka - I actually like hearing random strangers' stories like that. It amazes me sometimes that every car you around you on the freeway, every house or apartment in your neighborhood, every office has all kinds of people with all kinds of stories... Maybe I'd get tired of it if I were more approachable. :-)