Monday, April 21, 2008

The Coming Apocalypse

Who's Your Daddy?

First there were these billboards telling you to question your girlfriend when she tells you she is 'knocked-up'. I mean genetically question her. You never know if that dumb bitch has been sleeping around with your buddies in the 'hood'. When I first saw them, I couldn't believe it. Women slept around that much to not even know?

Collect Call from Inmate #2187900-h...

Then on the way home the other day, I spotted this sign. My first thought was, "Damn, another business opportunity LOST! Why didn't I think of that?". Then it sort of sunk in, that if there are that many folks trying to call out of prison things weren't looking too good for society.

...will you accept the charges?

Never mind that this sign was stuck in the ground outside a grade school. I suppose if you are old enough to read, you are old enough to know where daddy really is (assuming he passed the paternity test).

Mommy, You Look Different...

The last straw was this article I found on the web at my favorite celebrity gossip site (I have guilty pleasures just like everyone else). The shear thought that there are enough women out there having liposuction, nose jobs and breast augmentation to warrant a picture book for children explaining why 'mommy looks different' just sort of floored me.

The brakes are off and society is picking up speed as it careens down the steep slope of the future. If that wasn't bad enough, they are converting to Windows Vista in my office this week. So, if you don't hear from me for a while that may well be the reason. We are all doomed.