I've Changed

Plumage Display In The Burbs


We went to a going away party last weekend. Some friends of my wife have a son that is going into the Navy, so we all gathered to wish him good luck at the start of his journey into manhood. It was a nice little get together but it showed me something that I had totally forgotten about.

This barbecue was on the west side of town. We refer this these sections of the Phoenix metro area as the 'Sea of Sameness', because it is all track housing put up in large sub-divisions. The houses all look the same and are a bit run down. Most of them were built in the 1970s and they are showing their age. The neighborhood was pretty solid middle class, but like the rest of the nation, it has seen better days.

I used to live in this area. Before I met my wife and moved downtown into an historic neighborhood I was just another Sponge Bob in the Sea of Sameness. Living here entails long commutes to work, and shopping at a strip mall that either had a Safeway or an Albertsons. There isn't a lot of variation in the sea of sameness. Most residents buy what they are told they want, and own more vehicles than they need. They all have pools that they don't keep up, and the father's tend to have more toys then there children.

Going to the barbecue was a trip back down memory lane, and made me realize just how much I wasn't like these people anymore. First of all, they all smoked. I mean they smoked a lot. Where I live and work these days, smoking is a big no-no. You are pretty shunned if you do it. That was not the case at this little gathering. I counted no less than 10 packs of cigarette laying around and I saw at least $45 of the little cough'in nails go up in smoke. I can point my finger at these folks, because I used to smoke, and I quite. I pretty much lived on Marlboro Lights and Pitchers of Miller Beer while I was in college, but I have moved past that now. Most of these folks obviously hadn't.

The other thing I noticed were the wives. They were fat. I mean muffin top, hanging over their too-tight jeans fat. With hair died different colors and nose piercings, they weren't the sort of woman that I would find the least bit attractive. Fashion was not on their minds nor was spending any time in a hair salon trying to tame the muskrats on their heads. The lovely little model displaying her white thong on the blog graphic was the high point of fashion at this little gathering.

The final thing I noticed was the absolute addiction to technology that these people had. Every single one of them texted at least once while we were there during a 4 hour period of time. Many texted CONTINUOUSLY. Often times texting someone that was only 10 feet away, as though they were whispering in someones ear while they were conversing with someone else. Now, I have a Twitter account and a Facebook page along with a pretty sizable presence on the web, but this was a bit over the top. I might send 20 texts a month. These people were sending 20 a day, minimum. Technology has its benefits and its detractions. Put down the phone people and take a walk. Geezzz.

So in the end, I have changed. I was on track to become a member of this pack of lemmings, but something altered my course about 8 years ago and now I am in a totally different place. I am not sure what it was. Probably a growing frustration with the lifestyle that I found in the Sea of Sameness. Possibly a desire to find something more than the closed minds that my neighbors perpetuated. Definitely the fact that I found a good woman that knows how to dress without showing her underwear to the neighbors. I think I have changed for the better.