Friday, December 12, 2008

Meet Mr. Sympathy



The difference between Boys and Girls


We have two dogs. One is about a year and a half old [Bacchus, the good looking one in the background] and the other is all of 6 months [Max, in the foreground]. They each weigh about 40 to 50lbs. They love to play and chase each other around the back yard, which is a hoot to watch. Only problem is, when they are really going after one another they don't always watch 'where' they are going. This translates into 100lbs of dog going about 30mph. My wife found out just how dangerous this can be last weekend.

She was standing in our rear driveway and took her eyes off the dogs. Without warning, the 100lb dog missile slammed into the back of her legs and sent her flying backwards. She did a one and a half gainer into the concrete, with the back of her head hitting the ground first, followed by most of her shoulder blades and back.

She let out a scream and went limp on the pavement while the dogs circled her, trying to lick her face.

I came running out of the house to see what was wrong, and this is where my exceptional husband skills came into play.

I stood over her and asked her what happened.

"I fell, the dogs hit me!" (in a very painful voice, half crying)

"Can you get up?"

"NO!, I can't move! (more crying and grimacing)

"Can you move your fingers and toes?"

"I don't know!....it HURTS so much!" (more tears coming down the cheeks)

"If you can't get up in 3 minutes, I am calling an Ambulance"

"No you're Not....arrrggghhhh!" (more grimacing)

After about 5 minutes I was able to help her up and she survived with no permanent injury. She was stiff as a board for about 3 days and in a lot of pain. After consuming a whole bottle of Tylenol she healed enough to confide in me that she was not impressed with my empathy skills while she was laying on the ground. Her expectation was that I should get down on the ground with her and hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right.

Unfortunately, this is not how men think. My wife's mishap and injury were a problem to be solved, not an excuse for an emotional outburst. My first concern was for spinal injury and ascertaining if she just had accute pain or permanent severe injury, and if so, to get her professional treatment as soon as possible. In that respect, I wasn't going to try and touch or move her until I was sure that her spinal cord wasn't damanged

Obviously my wife thought otherwise. Her opinion, is that in cases of spinal injury and head trauma....hugs are best. '

So my new nick name is "Mr. Sympathy". I can live with that.

10 comments:

  1. OW. Sounds horrifically painful.

    I think most men have to be programmed with the sympathetic bedside manner. A woman would automatically be right there on the ground, holding her hand and soothing her while simultaneously squawking at the stone- still man to run and get ice and a pillow, make yourself bloody useful, etc.

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  2. A fine dog picture and even better comment today. When dealing with women, I try...repeat try, to remember they don't want me to solve problems, they generally want me to listen... which is much harder!
    Men and women are wired so differently.

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  3. Beautiful dogs, but OUCH! for poor wife! Hope she is better real soon. You guys... I can just see you questioning her while she laid there. You're lucky she couldn't move. She might have knocked YOU senseless for your empathy skills.

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  4. Cute dogs! As far as the sympathy, I'd do the same. First aid first, empathy later.

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  5. ouch! when dogs attack!

    see, im the other way. I'd go full on with the sympathy, even when i should be doing something much more practical.

    maybe im just a woman trapped in a mans body.

    did i just say that?

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  6. Lorraine: I stand behind what my chromesones told me to do.

    Don: I have perfected the art of pretending to listen.

    Maureen: We are like salt and pepper, we compliment each other nicely, but we are nothing alike in some areas.

    Mehgan: That would make you "Ms. Sympathy".

    Slyde: I think we are on to something here....this translates to when you get hurt, you want some to hug and caress you....have you considered a sex change operation yet?

    P.S. for small extortion fee, I can remove that whole woman's trapped in a man's body comment.

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  7. I hate to have had a laugh at her expense but...funny post! How's that for sympathy???? KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm sorry she was hurt, but it really was a funny post. The least you could have done was ASK whether she wanted problem solving or sympathy!!!! Instead you give her a deadline for recovery...SHEESH!!!!!
    :-) :-) :-)

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  8. Jill: My wife really wasn't in any condition to tell me anything......she was bascially balling on the ashphalt....maybe I should have just given her a lollipop?

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  9. Or chocolate. Chocolate cures quite a bit.

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  10. I'm your female equivalent. I'm BAD in those situations--either practical or not worth sympathy. Thankfully I'm married to a man, who can obviously handle my lack of sympathy, but sometimes get smothered whens something happens to me because he is nicer than I would expect. (or even like,some of the time.)

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