Friday, December 12, 2008

Meet Mr. Sympathy

The difference between Boys and Girls

We have two dogs. One is about a year and a half old [Bacchus, the good looking one in the background] and the other is all of 6 months [Max, in the foreground]. They each weigh about 40 to 50lbs. They love to play and chase each other around the back yard, which is a hoot to watch. Only problem is, when they are really going after one another they don't always watch 'where' they are going. This translates into 100lbs of dog going about 30mph. My wife found out just how dangerous this can be last weekend.

She was standing in our rear driveway and took her eyes off the dogs. Without warning, the 100lb dog missile slammed into the back of her legs and sent her flying backwards. She did a one and a half gainer into the concrete, with the back of her head hitting the ground first, followed by most of her shoulder blades and back.

She let out a scream and went limp on the pavement while the dogs circled her, trying to lick her face.

I came running out of the house to see what was wrong, and this is where my exceptional husband skills came into play.

I stood over her and asked her what happened.

"I fell, the dogs hit me!" (in a very painful voice, half crying)

"Can you get up?"

"NO!, I can't move! (more crying and grimacing)

"Can you move your fingers and toes?"

"I don't know! HURTS so much!" (more tears coming down the cheeks)

"If you can't get up in 3 minutes, I am calling an Ambulance"

"No you're Not....arrrggghhhh!" (more grimacing)

After about 5 minutes I was able to help her up and she survived with no permanent injury. She was stiff as a board for about 3 days and in a lot of pain. After consuming a whole bottle of Tylenol she healed enough to confide in me that she was not impressed with my empathy skills while she was laying on the ground. Her expectation was that I should get down on the ground with her and hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right.

Unfortunately, this is not how men think. My wife's mishap and injury were a problem to be solved, not an excuse for an emotional outburst. My first concern was for spinal injury and ascertaining if she just had accute pain or permanent severe injury, and if so, to get her professional treatment as soon as possible. In that respect, I wasn't going to try and touch or move her until I was sure that her spinal cord wasn't damanged

Obviously my wife thought otherwise. Her opinion, is that in cases of spinal injury and head trauma....hugs are best. '

So my new nick name is "Mr. Sympathy". I can live with that.